I am getting old and only means I start drawing inspirations from people who have walked this stage already. It is only natural that my dad is the first person who I look up to. Especially when I am one, I dont have to look anywhere else.
When I had a chance to be with him for several years, there were so many other things to do and hardly talking to him is something I have done. Do I regret for that, yes but I dont have to, as that was also a stage I had to cross without his help/inspiration. Of course, when I was a little baby, I wanted him as a toy. When I was a growing kid, I tried imitating him so I could survive in the world (because he is surviving). When I was an adult, I saw him my competition. When I got married, there were so many things to look outside the home, I hardly noticed him. Now that I am a dad myself, I really start looking up for a fatherly figure and when I have him around, I feel the time is running out.
Will I have enough time to talk to him?
Will I have enough time to learn from him?
Will I have the energy to balance him along with me being a father?
Will I have the right attitude and mentality to resolve any "conflicts" and "politics"?
I only hope my upbringing answers them all. Dad your upbringing is tested through me right now! I need Mom's strength and will power to see through this phase of life. I obviously need the support from spouse and everyone else to stand by me and my failures!
When I had a chance to be with him for several years, there were so many other things to do and hardly talking to him is something I have done. Do I regret for that, yes but I dont have to, as that was also a stage I had to cross without his help/inspiration. Of course, when I was a little baby, I wanted him as a toy. When I was a growing kid, I tried imitating him so I could survive in the world (because he is surviving). When I was an adult, I saw him my competition. When I got married, there were so many things to look outside the home, I hardly noticed him. Now that I am a dad myself, I really start looking up for a fatherly figure and when I have him around, I feel the time is running out.
Will I have enough time to talk to him?
Will I have enough time to learn from him?
Will I have the energy to balance him along with me being a father?
Will I have the right attitude and mentality to resolve any "conflicts" and "politics"?
I only hope my upbringing answers them all. Dad your upbringing is tested through me right now! I need Mom's strength and will power to see through this phase of life. I obviously need the support from spouse and everyone else to stand by me and my failures!
